Now I'm no therapist nor can I pretend I know anything about the human mind. What I CAN feign is that I know a little about my own psyche habits, and perhaps what makes me tick.
Lately, I've been in a creative rut and chalked it up to maybe having too many things to do. Yet, something about that excuse doesn't sit right with me. (And yes, that's what it is, an excuse. I at least admit to that.)
I remember when I was a young lad that had plenty to do, I would still find creativity. Then the answer to my conundrum hit me like a Mack Truck on a highway.
“Throughout all of it, negative emotions have been the fuel to my creativity.”
In order to explain this, I have to start at the beginning. Well, not THE beginning, but bear with me. Throughout my life I have experienced fear, disappointments, heartbreak, and loneliness and a whole bunch of negative things; all to the extremes (I'm sure many of you have as well, but this is about me, LOL). Throughout all of it, negative emotions have been the fuel to my creativity, so much so that I learned to expect them and without them, it was as if I wasn't truly living. Now, this is not to say I didn't have my good days and good times, cause I did. I remember those vividly. In those occasions, I just enjoyed the moment. Very seldom did I catalog those moments in full detailed as I did with the negative ones. It's just that when the bad times came, that's when my creativity was at its full capacity. I can't speak for many other artists, musically talented and otherwise, but I think they might know where I am coming from.
Because there have been many positive accomplishments in my life, lately I've noticed I've lost a little bit of that punchy creativity that used to just leak through me like water through pantyhose. This is not to say that I tap into creativity with happiness, it's just that being so used to squeezing it out of negative experiences seemed easier to do. It's a bit more challenging to do so when you are full of bliss, mainly cause all I want to do is live in that feeling since it is so good. At least for me.
If you feel like I feel, or have felt this way, let me know down in the comments.
Until next time, #drawwatuwant.